


Nero Shrimp

by TwoWorldsChild



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Birthday Party, Drunk Chekov, Gen, Humor, In Memory of Anton Yelchin, LJ prompt fill, No pairings - Freeform, Post-Star Trek (2009), a late 50th Anniversary post, first try for a prompt fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:17:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8117887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoWorldsChild/pseuds/TwoWorldsChild
Summary: Anonymous asked for: „Star Trek Drunk History Style“You know Drunk History where they get a person drunk and have them explain a historical event? So like that, but with members of the Enterprise crew explaining various missions. ...Members of the senior crew congratulated Pavel Chekov with an expensive bottle of original Russian vodka...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the STID Kink Meme on LJ (http://strek-id-kink.livejournal.com/3163.html?page=5#comments). And I'm not a native speaker. I never played this game, and I never really understand the Shrimpjoke... ´til this prompt... Pasta Nero...haha...shame on me... And I´m nervous like hell now... because all this is just a drunken man's babbling and my first try to fill a prompt. 
> 
> And a big thank you (+ a mirror glaze covered rainbow-cake) to my beta: Mija!

* * *

 

 

_“They're professionals at this in Russia, so no matter how many Jell-O shots or Jager shooters you might have downed at college mixers,_

_no matter how good a drinker you might think you are, don't forget that the Russians - any Russian - can drink you under the table.”_

_-Anthony Bourdain-_

 

 

Pavel sipped his fourth glass of vodka like water and tried to explain the whole Nero disaster to a blond girl from Engineering. Despite his slightly drunken state, his accent was hardly noticeable, but this didn't help much because he mixed up all his sentences. The poor girl was also not entirely sober herself and tried very hard to understand everything. And it was really difficult because Pavel put the cart before the horse.

"So... there was this Nero Shrimp guy, with his... yes, shrimp! Nero Pasta? The pasta with the deep black sauce from a calamari... and shrimps? And his ship looked like a big, pissed off calamari.... with tentacles... and then there was this shiny black hole that nearly swallowed our beautiful ship... and Nero destroyed Vulcan... yes the entire planet of one of ze founders of ze Federation because he believed ze Vulcans are guilty of not saving Romulus ... which was destroyed by its own sun, which had mutated into a red giant. And he nearly destroyed Earth with this drill-thing. Our Keptin saved ze day... together with Hikaru... because ze third guy didn't make it... missed the drill-thing in free fall. And they rescued Cap... Nah, Admiral Pike, too. This tentacle ship destroyed ze, USS Kelvin, some space rift opened... they have been waiting for 25 years and... yes, everything went crazy after that because our Keptin found this very old Vulcan on Delta Vega... and Chief Engineer Scott... and Keenser. And Commander Spock nearly strangled ze Keptin... and then he was emotionally compromised and couldn't act as Keptin... but our Keptin was made the First Officer by ze admiral... and so he was Keptin... saved us all... did I mention zat? Yes? And after all this mess... all ze cadets and ships were gone... except for our beautiful _Enterprise._ I love this ship, you know? No? Why? It's ze pride of the whole Fleet... so much elegance... so much power... if this ship were a woman, I would...“

And at this moment Jim interfered, snatched the vodka bottle from Pavel's fingers, helped him out of his seat in the rec room and left behind the very confused girl. Accompanied him all the way to his quarters and dumped him ungracefully on the bed, covered him with a blanket and switched off the lights. And swore secretly to himself that the next surprise birthday party for Pavel Chekov would be entirely alcohol-free.

Yes...sure...and pigs might fly.

And with a deep, world-weary sigh he left the dark quarters.


End file.
